Ed Came Back

No.461 in 'A Story a Day for a Year - and then some!' (This is 1 of 2 pieces)

ED CAME BACK

He was always different from the rest of us. Even in school. Ed had his nose in a book all the time and we went to him if there was things we wanted to know. We went to him even before we went to our moms and dads, or even our teachers. We called him Book End.

I guess I was the one as knowed him best of all. We was together always in the last year of school, me and Ed, and he’d be reading outta some book and I’d be listening. The sound of Ed’s voice was like music so that it made no nevermind that I didn’t understand the words of the song. And I’d sit close to him, touching, measuring my breath ‘gainst his, breathing in time with him, so close maybe some of what Ed was’d rub off on me. And when I asked if he loved me, he said sure he did, and he paused in his reading and kissed me and touched me under my clothes and we was all breathless and moaning. And I like that I was the one as knowed him best of all.

He went away at the end of school. He didn’t make no promises to be true or asking for me to be true neither. He just upped and left. I saw him off at the bus station and he was kissing me and saying I was pretty and he wanted to remember me that way. I played ‘em words over and over after he was gone, trying to fit ‘em into something they was not.

That first year he didn’t write or phone or nothing, and my best friend, Bliss, she said fuck him and she said I should move on and she set me up with this boy called Danny. On the first date I drank so much I couldn’t stand and Danny let me sleep the night at his place and he was saintly good and didn’t take advantage. In the morning he was nice as nurses and he brought me coffee in bed and he talked enough for the both of us, which was ok cos I was feeling like I was doing wrong being with him.

Did he tell you to wait? Did he say he’d come back for you? Jesus, Ellie, you got shit for brains and no mistake. Bliss said I needed Danny or someone like him. Someone to mess with for a night and then I’d see things a whole lot clearer. Half way through the second year, and Ed still hadn’t sent a word, well, I fucked Danny then and he thought he’d won the lottery and he said he wanted to be with me always and Bliss was right ‘bout seeing things different.

Me and Danny, we married soon enough and we got a kid now, a girl, and she’s got my pretty they say. And life just moves on, like wheels on a rolling truck turning, and I forget the names of the teachers at school, some of ‘em, and what’s past is all blurry. And I reckon as I’m lucky to have Danny and he’s good and all, and my momma likes him even if she says he won’t never set the world on fire. She says he’s safe and sure and that’s better than anything else you could ask for. And I nod to what momma says and I let myself gain a few pounds and I don’t care.

Only, then Ed came back. One day and out of the blue, he did. And I heard it somewhere, so it was talked about. And Bliss said he was asking after how I was doing and she looked at me to see what I felt ‘bout that. And she could see. Clear as stars or moons. And she shrugged and said why not. Only she said I should be careful and not go breaking Danny’s heart.

And I was careful and Ed was changed and I didn’t know him at all, that’s how it felt. And he said I was just the same and pretty like he remembered. And he told me to close my eyes, which I did, and we was at the library, down in the stacks where no one could see, and Ed kissed me and he touched me just under my clothes, and I broke away and I swore at him and I said he’d done spoiled everything and I said did he expect me to just wait for him.

Ed said he didn’t know, didn’t know nothing ‘cept what was in books, and he said he was a fool in all things else, and him saying that made me all silly inside and like I didn’t want to ever be apart from him, and it hurt to be me then, and I said Ed should go, which was the right thing to say even though it felt all wrong saying it.